How to · 2 min read · updated

How to make a sweatshirt for a college that doesn't exist

The campus bookstore crewneck never goes out of style. Yours can be from the University of Overthinking.

The short answer

Name the school after a habit ("University of Overthinking"), add a department that narrows the joke ("Department of Snacks"), give it a founding year that means something, and set it in a classic collegiate layout like an arch or a seal on a crewneck or hoodie.

The name formula

Real school names follow a few patterns, and the joke lands when yours follows them too: University of something, something State, something Institute, something Community College. Fill in the something with a habit or a place: University of Overthinking, Group Chat Polytechnic, Couch Potato College.

The department line narrows it: Department of Snacks, School of Leaving Early. A founding year that means something to the wearer (a birth year, the year the couch was bought) makes it personal.

Pick a classic layout

Alma Mater sets it in one of six layouts, each in up to two inks:

  • Classic arch: the name arched over one big word, with the year underneath.
  • Stacked: small caps, one big outlined word, small caps.
  • Seal: a ring of text around the school's initials, with stars.
  • Athletic Dept.: Property of, the school, a big number, then the department.
  • Script: the school spirit look, with a swoosh.
  • Pocket: small on the left chest.

Crewneck or hoodie

The look belongs on a sweatshirt. Alma Mater starts on a sand crewneck (Gildan 18000) and also prints on the hoodie (Gildan 18500), the classic tee, the heavyweight tee, the ringer and the long sleeve. Every layout is sized to fit the hoodie's print area above the pouch, so it prints full size on all of them.

Navy and red (the default on sand), navy and mustard, and forest and cream read as collegiate.

Questions people ask

Can I put a real university on it?

No. Real schools are trademarks, and so are schools from films, TV and books. Alma Mater refuses the major US schools, their short names, team nicknames and cheers, plus the well-known fictional ones, and tells you which name it found. Make up your own; nobody can say you didn't get in.

Why can't the number be 88 or 14?

On their own those numbers are hate codes. Use the full year instead (1988, 2014), which prints fine.

Does it come in kids' sizes?

Not yet. They're adult unisex sizes, XS to 5XL depending on the shirt and colour; each has a size guide on the page.