Ideas for · 2 min read · updated

Gifts for the coworker who has everything

They have the good pens and the nice water bottle. They don't have a merit badge for replying to an email from 2023.

The short answer

Give them something about a work moment only your team knows: merit badges for the office wins nobody notices, an embroidered hat for a fake club about their one recurring problem, or the office printer on trial in a framed courtroom sketch.

The picks

  1. A sticker sheet of six round merit badges under a Merit Badges of Adulthood banner, made with Merit Badges
    Stickers & patches

    Merit Badges

    A sash of merit badges for grown-up wins, like Inbox Archaeologist for replying to an email from 2023 or Hold Music Veteran. A sticker sheet for the laptop, or the top badge as a real embroidered patch.

    Makes: Sticker sheet, holo sticker or patch

  2. A stone dad hat embroidered with Reply All Yacht Club, Est. 2019 and a shield, made with The Club
    Hats

    The Club

    Type their one work problem and get three fake clubs to pick from, like the Reply All Yacht Club with a faux-Latin motto and a founding year, embroidered on a dad hat or beanie.

    Makes: Embroidered hat, beanie or patch

  3. A courtroom sketch of a cat in a suit on trial, in a red oak frame, made with Courtroom Sketch
    Walls & mugs

    Courtroom Sketch

    Objects can stand trial. Charge the office printer with what it did before the big deadline and frame the courtroom sketch for the break room.

    Makes: Framed print

  4. A mug with a Greek black-figure band of men laughing at a burning barbecue, made with The Frieze
    Walls & mugs

    The Frieze

    The team chat's most heated thread painted on a Greek vase, with everyone's names in Greek letters, on a mug for their desk.

    Makes: Mug, tumbler, tee or wrapping paper

  5. A big head pillow of a man's face in red and yellow halftone with a #1 DAD ribbon, made with Big Head
    Pillows

    Big Head

    Their giant head with EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH on a ribbon, as a pillow for the desk chair or a magnet for the team fridge.

    Makes: Shaped pillow

Aim the joke at the job

The safest office joke is about the work everyone shares: the reply-all thread, the meeting that should have been an email, the printer. The person opening it is in on that one too.

If you do want their face on something, attach a compliment. A giant head of them with a flattering title on the ribbon is hard to take the wrong way.

Make it a team gift

Merit badges work best when the whole team chips in. Ask everyone for one thing this person survived this year (the migration, the offsite, the client who calls at 5:59), paste the list into Merit Badges, and it turns them into a sash of six to nine badges. Rename any badge, swap its icon, and put the best one on the holographic sticker as the highest honour.

Questions people ask

What's a good gift for a coworker who has everything?

Something about a moment your team shared, since nobody else could have bought it. Merit badges for office wins and a hat for a fake club about their one work problem both do that.

Can I put our company name or logo on it?

No. Company names and logos aren't printed. An inside joke about the office does the same job.

Is the merit badge patch real embroidery?

Yes. The patch is stitched, in a circle, square, rectangle or oval. The sticker sheet prints the same badges flat, drawn to look stitched.